Have You Ever Been Triggered During Sex?

Here's How To Handle It.

August 27, 2019

Getty Images, twinsterphoto

We are very sex positive here on Loveline, and know that some sex may be triggering. We wanted to help you out, so here is some advice we have found that helps.

Practice Self-Awareness: A great way to do this is by asking yourself "how do i feel right now?" Checking in with yourself goes a very long way, we need more of it. Another great question can be "what do I need at this moment to feel safe." If you feel like this is helping a little, try journaling or writing things out to get you practiving Self-Awareness further.

Hit Pause or Switch Gears:  If something feels off check in with yourself and ask yourself if you need to stop. Have that conversation with your partner and switch up what you're doing. Instead of having sex maybe switch to cuddling or something else you might be comfortable with.

Keep Communication Open and Clear: Have a conversation with your partner with things that youre comfortable with and things that you aren't comfortable with. Ask them to check in with you during sex. A simple  question can be "is this okay?" that may take the burden off of you when you stop suddenly and shut them off. If something is bothering you dont be dismissive, talk it through with your partner.

Work With a Fear Hierarchy: This is a practice where you reach  the fear or trigger and you work slowly toward that trigger so that you can v=eventually get passed it. If holding hands is your trigger than maybe start by having your hands near eachother, then next time move a bit closer, then touch hands, and so on.

Try a Grounding Technique: This relies on the five senses, sight, smell, sound, taste and touch. What you want to do is describe something you are seeing, feeling, smelling, hearing, and one good thing about yourself. Get yourself to move past the trigger and then communicate what triggered you with your partner. This helps further experiences feel better.

Identify the Trigger: Use the trigger as a chance to look inward and learn more about yourself and what happened. If you can't identify it the best way to get it out is by seeing a trauma-informed therapist or support group. 

For more information on all of this visit Kinkly here.

Let us know your thoughts @Loveline